It is always difficult to counsel with someone who is struggling with grief. They have experienced deep pain and loss and it is still so raw that the tenderness of the moment makes communication limited. I have found that often times people struggling with grief either blame God or they make excuses for God.
The person who blames God may be someone who does not know God and may not even believe in Him. Yes, I have actually heard it said, "I don't believe God exists and I hate Him for killing my grandmother." Sometimes the God blamer is someone who claims to walk with God but at the end of the day, this loss reveals they have been seeking after God to see what good they can get from him. If we do not understand that everything exists for God and His glory; if we instead make ourselves and our desires paramount; we will never make any sense of the suffering in our lives.
Then there are Christians who genuinely love the Lord and want to honor Him. They may struggle to understand why this has all happened and they begin to make excuses for God. They say things like "God is mad at me," or "God didn't do this, He gives us free will." They may question His love and goodness or his power to stop the tragedy from happening.
In "Trusting God" Jerry Bridges nails it. He reminds us that we will find no comfort in an unloving, powerless, distant God. I encourage the grief stricken to avoid the question "Why" and ask "Who." Who is God. He is loving and wants what is best for us. He is wise and knows what is best for us. He is powerful and nothing can keep Him from bringing what his love and wisdom have determined are good for us. This truth has been an anchor for me in the storms of life.
I have to acknowledge though that it must be in place before the tragedy usually, if any help is to be gained from thinking this way. It is like trying to nail down a piece of plywood over the windows in the middle of a hurricane. It must be in place before the wind picks up, because this doctrine will be unmanageable in the midst of the storm.
The person who blames God may be someone who does not know God and may not even believe in Him. Yes, I have actually heard it said, "I don't believe God exists and I hate Him for killing my grandmother." Sometimes the God blamer is someone who claims to walk with God but at the end of the day, this loss reveals they have been seeking after God to see what good they can get from him. If we do not understand that everything exists for God and His glory; if we instead make ourselves and our desires paramount; we will never make any sense of the suffering in our lives.
Then there are Christians who genuinely love the Lord and want to honor Him. They may struggle to understand why this has all happened and they begin to make excuses for God. They say things like "God is mad at me," or "God didn't do this, He gives us free will." They may question His love and goodness or his power to stop the tragedy from happening.
In "Trusting God" Jerry Bridges nails it. He reminds us that we will find no comfort in an unloving, powerless, distant God. I encourage the grief stricken to avoid the question "Why" and ask "Who." Who is God. He is loving and wants what is best for us. He is wise and knows what is best for us. He is powerful and nothing can keep Him from bringing what his love and wisdom have determined are good for us. This truth has been an anchor for me in the storms of life.
I have to acknowledge though that it must be in place before the tragedy usually, if any help is to be gained from thinking this way. It is like trying to nail down a piece of plywood over the windows in the middle of a hurricane. It must be in place before the wind picks up, because this doctrine will be unmanageable in the midst of the storm.
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